with sadness & thanks

Yesterday,
my husband got
A Call.

Yesterday,
I held my husband
(many times) as he cried
about losing someone beloved,
and about not being able
to show up, bodily,
for those still
living.

Yesterday,
my older son
wrapped his arms
around both his dad and me
and said, “I’m so
sorry.”

Yesterday,
I cried, but I also said
many prayers of thanks:
“Thank you, that we
got to know him.
Thank you for the great kindnesses
he showed my husband
over the decades, and then
me, from the very
first day
I met
him;
the memory of him,
no less than his physical presence,
was yesterday,
is today,
and tomorrow will be
a blessing.

Today,
I think about holding my husband yesterday
while recalling words I wrote in April.
I conclude today,
with heart full of
both sadness and thanks,
as I did then:

Together with my husband,
“I cannot be there in body, but I can be—am—
there in love.”